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A Second Chance

17 Nov

My husband and I have been blessed again with a beautiful baby. This time around there were no health problems or complications. We said hello to a healthy 9 pound baby boy on September 18th.

Elisha Blanket

About 8 months pregnant with the blanket I made for our son.              Elisha Cypher King Rozier

I didn’t share my pregnancy online until I was about 8 months along. My reclusiveness was out of fear, honestly. Fear that it was too good to be true. It really did not fully register that he would be here. That he would be real. After the loss of one child, the ability to accept the blessing of another is complicated. It was in my subconscious not to get my hopes up, in case something went wrong. I was already preparing for the worst. There was also a feeling of guilt. Like I was somehow forgetting or ungrateful for our daughter Areli because we had moved on. Like we were replacing her. Well, that just wasn’t true at all. But it’s funny how your emotions can fool your brain into thinking something is true when your mind/spirit is trying to protect itself. Continue reading

“Roots” Poem by A. Roze

9 Jul

Oh the things

You must have seen

Coming at me,

Like a jumping flea

Aiming to breed

Yet ceasing to succeed

Since you let me be.

Still there for me

Like the root of a tree,

Loving from a distance,

The bond was instant,

Seemed to get real deep

When I turned 18.

Something had to click,

But you didn’t forget

How it was to be naive.

Knew what I would need,

Time, to grow wings,

Strength, to proceed,

Wisdom, to know me,

Clarity, to find peace,

Freedom, to make believe,

Will, to overcome defeat,

Courage, to keep going,

All the while knowing

There was no way

To simply tell me these things.

The eloquence of a real woman

Cannot be taught,

Cannot be bought,

Must be earned through understanding.

Amazing;

How you taught without teaching,

Touched without reaching,

Helped mold a princess into a queen.

Your grace is like no other,

Humble, wise, strong Grandmother,

Took me a little time to see,

But I bet you knew that’s how it would be,

Your beautiful spirit lives on through me,

My dear Grandma Jeanne.

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 2.00.33 AM

My grandparents. North Carolina 1943

The Word: WOMAN. [Happy Mother’s Day!]

10 May

me in LOT teeMy posts have been all business lately, but since Mother’s Day is around the corner, I think it’s time for an update on my personal journey. : )

I used to post more about where I was emotionally since my daughter Areli passed. I guess I can share a little on that since it has been long enough at this point. Last time I really shared about her was about a year ago on this blog. I stopped posting about Areli, as I thought that might be appropriate. But really it lead me to a period last year of what I guess some would call depression or repression. I felt like I was supposed to be over my grieving period at the beginning of last year since it had been about 6 months since Areli passed. And I felt like I was. Or like I was at least ok. But in the back of my mind I would think about her all the time. I’d think about how old she would be now, what I would be teaching her, or how different our lives would be with her. At times I felt like I wasn’t working hard enough, I’d think that maybe I didn’t deserve her. I wouldn’t voice what I was feeling because I thought people would just think I was feeling sorry for myself, or that I would just intensify the feelings I was having. It got to the point that I was living in my head so much about it, that the thoughts started to affect other areas of my life. Not being able to talk about what was on my subconscious mind made my conscious mind think that I didn’t even know myself anymore. This sounds odd, I know. But I’m so glad I’m able to realistically analyze everything at this point- because at the time, I was really confusing myself with this stuff.

Continue reading

Weekly Recap School and…. clothes!

29 Oct

This week past week was the start of a new term at school. Time is just flying!! I am loving Full Sail University so far. The teaching style is right on target and my fellow students are cool too!
Other than school I had a few fun adventures, when to south Florida last weekend, saw family for the first time in about a year and a half!! I went to the Enzian Theater for the first time, which is a local independent theater. I also go free tickets to go back! How cool! Then I got to go see Johnny Cupcakes give a branding seminar, which was fun and informative.
And then today I closed the week with a photo shoot featuring my designs with an amazing team. I cannot wait to see photos!!!
So I just wanted to post a few of my outfits from this past week, which I will try to continue to do every Sunday!
I haven’t decided what we are doing for Halloween yet… to dress up or not to dress up… hhmmm… Well, You’ll find out next week! And sooner than that if you follow me on FB or Twitter! Facebook.com/arozier or Twitter: @arozierdesigns
Have a fun Halloween everyone! Enjoy!

Mom at Millenia!!!

13 May

What a bittersweet day. This is the first Mother’s Day since we lost our sweet angel Areli. At first I felt cheated and jealous of all the lovely posts I see everywhere today. But then I remember the awesome blessing that has been bestowed on me. I still feel that this has been put on me for a reason. And these past 8 months have proven that very true to me. The conversations I’ve had and deep connections I’ve made to others have been priceless. And I cannot wait to continue to share my story with more people.

Last year I was scheduled to showcase my latest collection at Millenia Fashion Week on September 14th. I unexpectedly gave birth to Areli on the 11th. I still participated in the show. As I wrote about previously, I was there physically, but not in mind and spirit. To my lovely surprise, I have been invited back this year to showcase on September 10th. What a way to celebrate what would have been Areli’s 1st birthday. I invite you all to come celebrate with me as I showcase the Areli Sinclair Spring 2013 collection. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity and would love for you all to be there and share the moment with me!

Photo by : Lidia Carr

Being a mother is about so much more than giving birth. It’s about putting another person wholeheartedly before yourself. Its about unconditional love. Being strong when you feel weak. Solving problem that you thought you never could. And so much more.

Children are such a blessing. I am so proud of what my little girl has accomplished so far from all the way up in heaven. She has taught me so much, helped me to grow as a person, and allowed me to plant seeds in others.

To all you hard working mothers – Happy Mother’s Day!! Today and always. Hold onto those moments that you will experience today!

See you at the show!

~A. Rozier

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